Sometimes you have to go back to basics to get to where you
want to go. So if you think you should be further along then you are and you’re
feeling sadness or shame or something not right about it – try to remember,
that sometimes, everyone, especially masters in their own craft, will take deep
pleasure in going back to the very basic forms to reconnect with what is
important and lasting. For a tennis
player that might mean hitting against the wall to gain strength and accuracy,
and the purity of the swing that is yours unfiltered by the response of your
opponent.
You might not stay long in the beginning mode. You might realize that even here your
experience informs the foundation movements.
It is about that first knowing the feeling – the moment you feel it and
get it and understand it on what can only be called a cellular level. We don’t seem to be able to stay in that
beginner’s awareness for a long time.
But remembering the feeling is more than halfway there to hitting the
ball right.
Other things will come into play. For tennis, the physical
ability, sure, that will be one understanding and development for you. The strength, accuracy, the feeling from the
deep roots of your heels up through your arms. But the real journey of a good
connection, in tennis or any other sport or deeply held activity, is from the
feeling of the ground running through your legs and arms and into your
imagination. That’s where you can really lay into the ball and move it wherever
you want. It’s also true whether it takes place on the court, against the wall,
or behind your closed eyelids; or whether it’s a soft hit, seriously strong and
powered or the surprising fluency from timing.
Deep body knowing is a great gift. It is, once you experience it, hard to define
as just physical. Just as fear or dark
feelings are not just emotional and ethereal.
If you know the sense of connection that the positive experience has you
might also be able to identify the difficult and darker feelings that come with
uneasiness, whether you call it fear, anxiety or depression.
When the fear comes or the darkness, it is like a cloud of
sand that moves between the horizon and the plain. If only it were like a water
spout, magical and from a distance, astonishing. Crowded by thoughts, by
weights not entered on the periodic table core iron is pulled from your blood
sending you into a sea darker than any ocean shadow.
You might forget who you are and the meaning you’ve gathered
for your life. You might forget what makes you smile. How this weight can come
between you and what is joyful, that is the puzzle. There is no set itinerary for the road back.
Compasses are not helpful. Yes it is
possible to survive this time and enter your home or go to work. But the going
and the coming could feel empty. In the rush rush world nobody notices that you
have to try to engage. You pump the clutch; pull the gear into position and
nothing. You look around for hills to gain momentum and trick the engine.
I received a feather as a gift. It was under what I call my
desk map but in an envelope. I had put it there to keep the specialness of the
gift close by. But I had forgotten I had it.
It was a feather blessed by ceremony and connection; by meaning drawn
from the shared experience of people holding the dream of our world in their
songs and visions. As I remembered this
feather’s journey to me, I knew that it was always on the wings of my soul. The
light was always the darkness’ partner. The day is mine to remember who I am
and what makes me smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment