Monday, January 9, 2017

cathedrals, the ways of plums and grief



from the sea (5) –  merging and menopause, cathedrals 1 of 3, by freda karpf



“There is, then, no water that is wholly of the Pacific, or wholly of the Atlantic, of the Indian or the Antarctic. The surf that we find exhilarating at Virginia Beach or at La Jolla today may have lapped at the base of Antarctic icebergs or sparkled in the Mediterranean sun, years ago, before it moved through dark and unseen waterways to the place we find it now. It is by the deep, hidden currents that the oceans are made one.”  Rachel Carson

     As the day grows into evening Mrs. Scattergood was immersed in the feelings and thoughts of a friendship built in time and cathredralled through relationship.  From chair or throne, where the bishop sits, where leadership dwells, cathedral.  It has come to be used as an architectural description of a place of height with layers repeating as they rise - as does this relationship that happens when friends bond and grow through time. A part of this cathedral structure is the loss of one and how life changes for the one remaining.  This includes the loss of Barry and the friendship they built.
~
     The closest she ever got to a waltz was the final walk toward each other when she folded the sheets with her mother. She would meet her mother’s hands with hers as she held the pinched ends of the sheets together. Her mother would take them and finish folding the sheets by smoothing them against her body. How often she wished she could walk toward her now with her half of the percale.  It should not surprise anyone how often the end usually is right near the beginning.  Mrs. Scattergood still missed her mother. Why wouldn’t she?  Mrs. Scattergood liked to think she carried the sea in her.  While others have gone on and moved to other parts, she stayed put.  The sea is within her and so is her mother. It is a hard tale to unwind if one is looking for the true beginning of the daughter and the place where the mother is just herself. These places exist and identities are sound. It is like the wave in the water. Both are real, both separate.  But it is hard telling which until one is moving and then you know. Suddenly, it’s clear. This is the wave and that is the daughter and the shore welcomes both home.
~
     Certain knowing comes slow but when you notice it, like moss on the side of trees, it belongs. 
~
     Nagual vision is a way of seeing that Don Juan demonstrated in the Carlos Castaneda books.  This way of seeing is to not look directly at anything.  You must look at the space around them.  This changes your reality; loosens the constrictions we put on forms and releases a different way of being within your bones.  Do not look at the leaves on the tree, look at the spaces between.  Is it the negative?  Is it the silhouette?  No, it’s something different.  It’s a way of seeing which the dead on way doesn’t allow.  Mrs. Scattergood looked at the spaces in her life. There are many open spaces.  No criticism, no judgment.  That is what she sees.  That day it became a way of getting along. 
~
     Baubo always admired the people who haven't displaced their compassion with their strength but were able to hold both within. 
~
     Years after her mother died, Mrs. Scattergood realized she hadn’t a clue where her life was heading.  When she woke to this knowing she also woke to the desire to find her roots.  From this place, she thought, her story would unfold like a flag and she could look up at it whenever she needed the telltale indication for the direction she was in.
~
Mae West once said, "Whenever I have to choose between two evils, I always like to try the one I haven't tried before." Baubo enjoyed Mae West. But when it came to describing her ideas on reality she appreciated the more rigorously philosophical words from Robert Anton Wilson:  "Reality is anything you can get away with."  She maintains a collection of high minded thoughts to share for those times when doom lurks near and life seems a tangle of conflicts and interruptions. She knows that there are words that have brought succor and shown her the sweetness of realizations even when awareness seems an odd presence in the lives of those she has come to comfort.  Baubo had known Mrs. Scattergood for a long time. But she hardly remembered what Mrs. Scattergood looked like when she came round to her aid. But she did remember her voice. The disembodied voice can betray age and looks but not the honesty that comes from sound weaving meaning through her voice. From the day she finally came to her cottage Baubo was an odd, comfortable presence in Mrs. Scattergood’s life.   ~
     Like fruit ripening, when grief lifts it hardly seems possible that it held you so.  If it were possible, Baubo would hire someone to come through the house to shout out like Paul Revere "The plums are ready! The plums are ready!"  She imagined they could do this in a voice that quivers like Julia Child. "Ooooo, the plums are ready."   The time is ripe for running to the moon.  And how often do we miss that minute window of opportunity where the plum is ready and the plum is rotten?  It is such a brief window and the taste of the ripe fruit is so delicious that it's worth having someone do this.  Now, to hire someone for that, that is true wealth. But just as the fully puffed and dancing dill might fool you, so too the peach.  Don't be a sucker.  Nobody's fool, Baubo was wise to the ways of the plum and grief. 

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