from raga or the 10,000 things (6), tomboy raga, by freda karpf
A longing came over Mrs.
Scattergood but at the time she didn’t know it was that. It was a simple
conversation with the trees and her need, or was it her ability, to climb those
that reached out to her. From where she stood and the distance between her and
the trees, a longing. But the distance
could be closed as she grabbed a limb and scrabbled up the tree. It wasn’t a
pretty sight but she got it done and she was up and up and up. She climbed the trees. There have been times
when different things called out to her and she would feel the same
feeling. But it wasn’t until now that
she realized that the longing was something in her and something outside of her
speaking to each other. Her mother would sing, “When I’m calling you, you oo
oo….” like Nelson Eddie and Jeanette MacDonald in a really bad operatic
voice. Her longing, calling and
responding was simple and with good humor too.
It was an everyday love affair with the world. The world will love you back. You will scrape
your knees, your mother will have to speak to you through dill sometimes, but
the world will love you back. Just you listen, hear?
~
A starfish’s tubular feet
climbing the trees, just walking up the trees like an inch worm from the
sea. All the tubes of the starfish
feet, clear, translucent, seeming to have a life of their own. The fur of a polar bear is tubular and
translucent too, although it doesn’t look that way. Their fur captures the sunlight. The first solar panel was a polar bear’s
coat. The starfish climbs up the trees
because it’s reaching for the night sky.
Why would she associate
climbing trees in the Cambridge apartment complex with loving women? It is hard to know these things. Both called
out to her. The trees, the women. The Tao is in the suburbs, in the country, in
the air wherever you are. It is in your knees and feet, whether tubular or
toed. Humans can tell you when their
heart is full or their spirits aren’t light. They can tell you when they’re
lonely but they are often unaware of a steady stream of conversation with their
soul and spirit, though it goes on all the time. Our heads can be filled with
argument and the recitation of events.
How could Mrs. Scattergood feel lonely? Did the trees stop calling
her? Or did she just stop listening?
When you are climbing trees you are in the Tao. When you are in the Tao you are
in love, in the stream, in those July summer days when the world is sparkling,
your spirits are gliding peacefully breathing serene joy forever eternal
delicious effervescent moon rising long day. Unfolding from the sweet abundance
of the early morning produce market before school, tomatoes wishing you a good
nap, crates of produce pushing their green sleeves through to send you off to a
good day. Words pushed aside by a quiet smiling joy. All of you, coherent, connected, wishing only
to be in this moment which goes on and on and like a raga brings you to another
level of love and sweetness. And each breath amazing because the music finds
more cool blue waterways through the sedge islands, more channels and how can
this last so long? Oh.
~
Walking through the painted
kitchen and hallway, having missed their entire childhood, Mrs. Scattergood
gets to see the walls her friend painted with her children's favorite story
characters; all the colors and feelings of their growing up times. She emerged
onto the deck and there he was with some stubble on his chin; crouched on the
picnic table over a bowl of tie-dye water wringing a formerly white tee shirt,
catching the sun in his eyes. He was
right there and far away from the boy she knew who had remembered all the
dinosaurs’ names.
~
Comfortable with getting older, more
patient in some ways, more hopeful in others.
Although she appreciated the isometric benefits of resistance, she felt
that toning up her real values, now that she wasn’t so completely influenced by
her desire, would bring her what she wanted in the long run. At least she hoped so. At least she was willing to be patient. And she had the good measure of Baubo’s
friendship to help her bide the time.
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